Examples of the Mentoring Process:
High School
Middle School


Key Tenets about the
Composition Process

Critique and Reflection

Mentoring Guidelines

Archived Composition
Examples 1998-2003:
High School
Middle School
Elementary School

The Ant’s Adventure
by David, grade 5, Champlain Elementary School
Teacher: Betsy Greene

Comment to the Composer by Carolyn Keck, teacher and composer mentor:

Hi David, What a lovely composition you have here. In your description I am a little unclear about "then I ended with what I started with" - could you explain that?

You asked for help altering the beginning and ending. I love your beginning and don't think it needs altering but if you wish to make any changes you could try giving the bassoon eighth notes on the last beat in mm. 1 & 2.

In the last four measures the instruments move in parallel rhythm. Have you thought of giving the bassoon the moving line like you did with the clarinet in the beginning?- fill out the harmony a little with moving eighth notes? I think that might sound very nice but give it a try and see what you think.

You have a great beginning David and I definitely think you should add another section or two. I look forward to hearing more. Good luck.

Carolyn

Comment to the Composer by Kate Jones, NCUHS senior in music composition class:

David,

I really enjoyed your piece. It has a nice flow to it. I'm a singer and I think that this song would sound good if you put words to it. Starting on measure nine you have the clarinet and the bassoon parts an octave apart. It might enhance the sound of the piece if you were to put the bassoon part in harmony with the clarinet part, say a third up. You can try it and see what you think. Also, starting on measure thirteen, you could switch the clarinet and the bassoon parts. This would give the piece a different sound. These are just suggestions, so take what you think will work for you! I think that you have a great piece here, and I look forward to seeing what you do with it. Keep up the good work.

Kate

Comment to the Composer by Jodi Ethier, teacher:

David,

I like your piece a lot. It sounds fun and interesting.

In your first draft, you had a staccato quarter note in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd measures in the clarinet line. In your second draft, you changed this to a staccato eighth note in both instruments. To me, it sounds too abrupt. Try having both instruments play a staccato quarter note.

I really enjoy the melody you gave the bassoon in measure 9. It flows well and the clarinet part goes well with it.

I don't think that the B section is too sudden. You have a good A and B section, have you thought of repeating your A section at the end? You don't have to- I think the ending sounds good, but you can try it and see what you think. I really like opening of your A section and I think it would be cool to hear it come back again.

Good luck- it sounds great so far!

~Jodi

Comment to the Composer by Sandi MacLeod, project coordinator:

Hi David,

You've created a well-formed and interesting piece. The A section at the end helps provide unity to your piece. Good work!

You asked if you should put eighth notes in measure 5 and 6. I think not. The pattern you've created with quarters and a half notes is a good contrast to the first four measures. I wouldn't change them, but listen again and see what you think.

The title works well too. I can't think of any other suggestions except for the possibility of more harmony when the two instrument play identical notes in measure 5 and 6 - the identical G's, E's and F sharps. I know it was mentioned once before and it is up to you the notes you choose for this part.

Good work David. Thanks for sharing your progress with us.

Sandi