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Arabian Bullfight
by Allan Beaudry, grade 11, North Country Union High School
Teacher: Anne Hamilton

Comment posted by Timothy Bowlby, composer mentor:

Allan:

I agree that you're moving very quickly from one idea/motive set to another. Don't be afraid to repeat things a few times. This will give your listeners a chance to really get familiar with what's being played before you press on.

The other thing I would suggest is that you try lengthening your ideas harmonically. Try taking each different idea -- and I think you have about 3 or 4 of them -- and expanding them by devising suitable eight to twelve measure chord progressions for them. This will also slow down the rate at which you move from one idea to the next.

Let me know if you're not sure how to do this and I'll write you a more detailed response with a few examples of what I am proposing.

Keep up the good work.

-- Tim Bowlby --

Comment posted by Matt Podd, NCUHS grad and film scoring/music major at Ithaca College:

Hey Allan, it’s great to hear from you and to hear your work. I think you've got a great start. I listened to the opening fanfare and was expecting a more Spanish feeling piece then what followed. Your opening was very catchy and powerful with its "bullfighting-like" feel. I think you could make much more out of the V going to VI in the rest of the piece. Its something the listener will recognize and can remember as part of a motive. As for the rest of the piece I like the 8/8 feel and you do a great job punching the accents. One thing that caught me off guard was your big build up thru measure 10 and then totally surprised me with new material. That may be the effect you were going for but I kind of wanted to hear a final big chord at the end of that and you can develop the 8th note ascending thing before you move on as well. Maybe try the same thing descending and then have the descent go into your new material at 11? just an idea but your right when you feel like it moves to quickly. A LOT can be done with a small amount of material and that’s what makes a great composition. Keeping an interesting composition with little material so that the listener feels like they know what’s going on (just be careful not to make it too predictable so that the listener gets bored) Great job so far and good luck with the revision.

Matt

Comment posted by Jon Kusche, music education major at Crane School of Music:

Allan,

Wow! I am really impressed with what you have here. You have the start of some very good ideas! As far as your question concerning the 3/8 measure between measures 12-13, I think it would be a good idea. By doing so, you will create a metric shift which creates a really cool effect. If you want to hear how this works, take a listen to some pieces by Leonard Bernstein like "Overture to Candide" or Aaron Copland's "El Salon Mexico". They were both masters at this. Perhaps if you like this effect, you can employ it through out your composition. Indeed the changing pulse will always give the audience something to listen for, but it will also give you, the composer, other ways to develop your ideas. You'd be amazed what changing the meter does to a piece. If this idea doesn't seem to work for you, then maybe consider not changing the meter, but obscuring it. You can do this by tying notes together over bar lines or creating syncopation. If you've ever listened to any of Brahms' music, you will get a good sense of this. Also, you have some nice harmonies between the two trumpets and french horn in measures 7-8. You might think about elaborating on these and pass them around the ensemble. Maybe use them in different voices and create some sort of rhythmic variance. What you have thus far is great. I am really impressed with your work. I think you have the potential for a really good piece of music. Keep up the good work and happy composing!

-Jon Kusche

Comment posted by Jen Larrabee, music teacher:

Allan, Thanks for posting your work for us! You have some truly wonderful material here! I agree with the other comments - you can definitely expand and develop your themes more - think about the form you want to create. One simple method you might employ is repetition - to spice it up a bit, try moving your theme up or down a half step. For example, take your first 4 measures, repeat them (all up a half step), then you could repeat it again back in the original key. (You gotta love the cut & paste feature in this program!) Looking forward to further postings! Jen Larrabee

Comment posted by Jeff Perrin, composer mentor:

Hi Allan,

Nice job so far. I enjoyed listening to your piece very much!

You wrote: "I would like any suggestions about what I have so far as well as what will come next. Would a key change be appropriate for a short piece like mine? Thanks."

The "slower soft part" sounds like a good addition. As for a key change, if you feel the need for one, don't let composition length or similar "parameters" suggest a limitation of sorts. You can write whatever sounds good to you. Experiment!

As far as what comes next? From my own point of view, I can't help think that you did such a great job writing the "bullfight" theme, that I'd like to hear more. Perhaps a revisit of the initial theme after the coming slow section? I'd also like to ask you if you'd considered the possibility that you have two separate themes which might be best developed as two separate compositions. ie: the first "bullfight" theme could easily be developed on it's own, keeping a Spanish minor sound and feel throughout (complete with it's own bridge or slow section, etc). This happens to all composers - working on a composition and discovering that two sections work better apart or in different songs than together. I'm NOT saying this is definitely the case here. I'm just putting out that, from a listener's perspective, I feel I've been set up for a particular feel or mood in the song's beginning (very well accomplished!) and then suddenly get whisked away to another continent. I enjoyed my visit to ol' Mexico, and would like to stay a little while longer, please. :-)

Anyway, please keep in mind that this is just one opinion. You're doing a great job and I look forward to hearing your next revision!

Hasta Luego! Jeff Perrin

Comment posted by Timothy Bowlby, composer mentor:

Allan:

It's clear you've made some excellent progress on your piece. There's lots of really good material at work. A key change is by no means out of the question. How short a piece are you envisioning? Just bear in mind that keys which have or imply lots of sharps are not as comfortable for wind instruments to play in. Your piece is in F and that makes the b-flat trumpet parts in G with one sharp in their signatures.

Your "trombone feature" is a good idea. It's nice to give the trumpets a break like that. I would suggest, though, that you consider repeating and expanding on mm. 13-17 before going on to m. 18. The opening figure (mm. 13-17) is quite "ear-catching" and it'd be helpful to hear it a second time.

The vivace section is good, but I think you're leaving material too quickly here again. It's okay to repeat important passages. If you move too fast and don't leave signposts for the listener in the form of literal and varied restatements they'll get lost.

Your writing for the trumpets is good in that, among other things, your second part is lower and less busy than the first. However, both parts lie in the middle to upper areas of the instrument's range. Playing up there can get tiring. You're smart to build in rest periods, but also bear in mind that the trumpet goes down to an F# below middle C, and this area of the range can be exploited expressively as well as the high part.

Keep up the great work Allan. This is impressive. Keep it up!

-- Tim Bowlby --

Comment posted by Erik Nielsen, composer mentor:

Dear Allan,

Thanks for posting your revision of your quintet. You've made lots of progress and the piece is really starting to take shape. I think the trombone solo is a fine idea and you've put the instrument in a really singing register, so it will be very effective. The ostinato accompaniment is also a good way of setting off the solo. However, I'd like to see you extend the A minor section (13-17) some more before changing harmony. It sounded to me as if it needed to blossom more than you gave it a chance to do.

I have a few other comments on things to consider. First, I found the dominant harmony cadence at 8-9 at odds with the flamenco feel of the opening and I have a simple suggestion: drop bar 8 completely. I thought through the section without that bar and found it worked much better. See what you think.

Second, I love the allegro section, and I think the idea of a slow section is fine, but it comes too soon. The allegro needs to build up more and reach a climax before a change of tempo and mood will be effective. Otherwise you will really frustrate your listener.

Finally, you have some really good part writing, but there are a couple of parallel octaves which happen when the texture is really thin and which lock your horn and tuba parts together in ways that destroy their independence of sound. I'm referring to the final beats of 27 and 29 going to the downbeats of 28 and 30, respectively. My suggestion is to change the final horn note of 27 to a low E and to change the tuba downbeat of 30 to make it an octave lower, then continue the rest of the bar as is. It will make the parts more interesting.

By the way, there is ample historical evidence that the "Spanish" sound of flamenco, which you have captured quite well, is Arabic in origin, due to the 700-year Moorish occupation of Spain. Just thought you'd like to know how on-target your idea is!

Best wishes,

Erik Nielsen

Comment posted by Laura Turner, JSC music ed major

Hi Allan, Your piece has a really exciting feel. As a fellow trombone player I think it would be fun to play. I also like your use of changing time signatures and tempos to give each section its own character.

The trombone, trumpets, and horn seem to move a lot throughout the piece. Maybe a little more diversity in the tuba pitches could help add to the lower end. Also, at measure 44 the tuba and horn chord could perhaps have a richer sound if an additional horn was placed there. Concerning what will come next in the piece, you might create a solo or soli for a different voice, maybe responding to the prior trombone line you have.

The piece seems very well thought out, especially for your first try on the program. I hope you continue to work so well on it.

Laura

Comment posted by Patricia Morehead, composer mentor:

Dear Allan,

I like your piece very much and you do create the atmosphere of an Arabian bullfight. Your piece is very sectionalized which is fine, but I think that moving from one section to another needs to be reviewed and you might think of adding a few measures between the sections to smooth our your transitions which seem abrupt at times and awkward at others. I thinking a little thought in this area will make your piece really strong. Try introducing hints of the material to come in your transitions and see how this works for you.

Sincerely, Patricia Morehead

Comment posted by Erik Nielsen, composer mentor:

Dear Allan,

Thanks for posting the revision to your quintet. You've certainly made progress. I like how the trombone solo has grown and how you allowed it to stay on A longer to really blossom. I also find bars 48 and 49 with the flutter tonguing very exciting.

I still think that structurally the piece needs work. I realize you were under the gun with the deadline, but my job is to say what I see and hear. You have such exciting material and in a couple of places, just as it's beginning to take shape and take off, it slows down. Two examples come to mind: first, the ritard in bars 6-10 is too much, too soon, especially when the piece has only just begun and has begun in such an energetic manner; second, after the fiendishly active material in bars 48 and 49 comes a long note which deflates the piece immediately. So I'd really give this some thought. For the piece to fully realize its potential (and it has a LOT of potential), you need to give the ideas enough time and space to really blossom. Otherwise, it just frustrates the listener and does a disservice to your fine ideas.

Finally, you need to check through to make sure your dynamic marks are accurate and well placed. One example: how loud does the crescendo at 59 get?

There's some really nice music in this piece, Allan. I hope you will take the time to work on it to make it the terrific piece it can be.

Best wishes,

Erik

Comment posted by Timothy Bowlby, composer mentor:

A.: VERY good. This will sound good live. Congratulations. My one comment at this point would be to make sure that the parts have as simple and logical an arrangement of rests in each measure so that reading's easy.

-- Tim --